Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
