You're my little dorito
another moral hangover. fuck.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
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