the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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