when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
