Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
