I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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