i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
