i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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