If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
