38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
