tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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