clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
