how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
