Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
