Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Randomize
