I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
