Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
