she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
it's great music for shaving your balls
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
