it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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