Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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