I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
