just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
You don't make any sense
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