At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
