I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
