I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
