New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
