Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
