hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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