I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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