? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
