why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
