the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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