My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
