the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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