Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
