I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
