It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
