i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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