Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
