i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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