oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
