Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
