I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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