they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
