I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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