Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
