Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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