I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
