a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
