They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
