It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
