and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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